[][][][][][][] My Family's Exchange Student Story [][][][][][][] (Middle Tennessee)
Reply to: comm-644664790@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-16, 1:46PM CDT
In regards to the question I posted here ealier, the last time I posted it (a couple months ago) I did get one response from a woman who said she had enough to deal with with her own kids. That led me to share the following, which I think bears repeating:
My parents birthed three children, my elder brother, me fourteen months after, and my younger brother 18 months after that. About two years after my elder brother's death at age 11, my parents bravely adopted a sibling group, girls ages 8 and 6, boy age 4. The adopted kids came with some enormous baggage. Their father had killed their mom and they'd been in in foster care for two years, stable foster care, but loveless.
By the time I was a senior in high school the adopted kids were getting in fairly regular trouble with the law (except for the youngest girl whose behavior was by far the worst of the three, but she never got caught). My dad was on the local (small town in the northwest) Planning and Zoning Commission at the time and our private family business was public gossip fodder. My parents did everything they could to try to teach these kids right from wrong; the kids continually made poor decisions, and blamed my parents. My youngest sister was later diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but her subtly hateful tendencies were already needling away at the very heart of several members of the family, maybe even all of us. There was A LOT of stress in the home.
One day an announcement was made from the pulpit that there was a 17 year old female exchange student from Japan who was a member of our church and was requesting a host family from within the congregation for her senior year in high school here. Three families stepped forward. We had a piano (a necessity since her parents required that she practice three hours a day), a spare bed, and a girl her age (me) so we got her.
I'm sure people must have thought my parents were NUTS to bring one more kid into the house at a time when there was already so much stress. I don't think any of us contributed much by way of chores and my mother is still a devout from-scratch cook, even to the point of grinding her own wheat for bread, making noodles, keeping a formidable organic garden...
SO into this whirlwind comes Mari, with her perpetually steaming sticky-rice pot, her poor English skills, her odd habit of eating Walla-Walla sweet onions whole and adorned in nothing but Kikkoman... and her three hours a day of Chopin... and her quiet, peaceful demeanor. Mari brought a sense of peace and healing into our home. She brought us through a very troubled time, and my mother to this day will sometimes wistfully say, "I miss Mari" especially when she hears Chopin's piano music.
Now, I will admit that not all exchange student experiences are that out-of-this-world, fabulously, enrichingly, Wonderful. Certainly ALL are learning experiences for all involved. Only one in ten are problematic enough that the kid has to be moved to a new home or, more rarely still, sent packing back to where they came from (I haven't seen it happen yet, but I'm only going into my second year.) MOST are good experiences for the whole family where everyone learns a bit about another culture, picks up at least a bit of another language, and makes international friendships that will last a lifetime.
By the way, all of my siblings, except for the narcissistic one, have grown into responsible, hardworking, honest adults and terrific parents. Mari got a full-ride piano scholarship, extended her visa, married a red-headed dairy farmer from Oregon and has two, now adult, daughters. Her parents and some of her siblings have also emigrated to the US.
I encourage people to prayerfully consider hosting an exchange student, and prayerfully consider which student they choose. I believe that this program will enrich the lives of all involved, indeed, at it's best, IT HAS THE POWER TO TURN THE COURSE OF THE WORLD through the friendships that are developed and the experiences learned HERE by children who well may become the leaders of tomorrow in nations like Serbia, Vietnam, China, Venezuela and more than 50 others.
Now, who wouldn't want to be a part of that?
--
Pamela
Tennessee Regional Advisor
International Student Exchange
(615) 568-8556
http://www.iseusa.com
http://www.isesouthatlantic.org
- Location: Middle Tennessee
- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 644664790
